


The Honesty of 3am

by anarchycox



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, Get together fic, Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mostly Dialogue, Set during Mass Effect 2, the crew take care of shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 10:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17526818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Shepard suffers a very specific insomnia. On the first Normandy they had a system that dealt with it. On the second they slowly put it in place. How friends take care of each other and how sometimes that grows into something else entirely.





	The Honesty of 3am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arknatanus](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=arknatanus).



> I hope that you enjoy this fluffy little fic arknatanus

“Hey Doc, how is he?” 

“Jeff, you cannot expect me to break doctor patient confidentiality.”

Joker snorted a little, “I hit the right keys, I’m staring at all of Cerberus’s files on our guy.”

“Mr. Moreau, I assure you that you would not get past my security fields.”

“Okay, you tell yourself that,” Joker made a face at the EDI projection. “Doc, just tell me…”

“I would imagine his problems from the Normandy will only be exacerbated here.”

Joker ran a hand over his face, “Yeah, I figured. So three on, three off?”

“There might be some here who could?”

“Who Miranda, Jacob? Really, Doc? They brought him back but you telling me you trust any of them with this?”

“Mr. Moreau -”

“Not now Hal,” Joker snapped and it was probably the coldest he had ever been to the system and EDI went quiet. “Doc, tell me you trust anyone but you and me with this.”

“I trust many people with this.”

Joker was quiet, “Yeah, but they ain’t here. There is just you and me.”

“Three on, three off sounds reasonable,” she replied. “I’d imagine you want to go first.”

“You know me,” Joker said.

“I do Jeff. You are a good man.”

“Ugh, don’t start with that - the computer is listening,” Joker turned off the comms.

“Of course I am listening, Mr. Moreau, I am programmed to always be on.”

“Trust me, working on that,” he said.

“What are you and Doctor Chakwas planning?”

“You’re always on, you’ll figure it out.” Joker went back to his readouts and made sure to have a nap so that he was up and in the mess hall at exactly 2:45am.

“Joker, didn’t expect to see you up,” Shepard said.

“You know me, nighthawk when I get a few changes in star charts, rumour has it there is a planet with a huge eezo deposit, but it is in some fucked up asteroids, so running sims.” Joker sipped coffee and poked at his datapad. “Want to help me? Having troubles with calculating the gravitational pull here.”

“Mr. Moreau, my job is to -”

“Bite me,” Joker said. “Your job is to bite me. I’ll go with the calculations Commander Nerd here comes up with, thank you very much.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the commander smile just a little at the name that stuck on the old ship. He looked tired, the commander, but he always did at 3am. 

“Happy to help, Joker,” Shepard grabbed his coffee and sat down next to him and they played with calculations and sims for the ninety minutes it usually took the commander to get tired and by the third yawn, Joker knew that Shepard would listen and gently suggested some shut eye. The commander nodded and went back to his quarters and Joker looked at his data pad.

“Mr. Moreau, there is no eezo rich planet in the star charts you were examining.”

“There isn’t? Huh, must be my lack of sleep. Oh well,” Joker stood up and slowly made his way to his bed. Maybe they should have set a four and four pattern. Fuck this would be a lot easier if some of the old crew were around. But they weren’t so he and Doc would deal.

****************************************

“John Elric Sebastian Shepard, exactly what do you think you are doing with the coffee maker?” Doctor Chakwas snapped at 3:06am.

John immediately put the screwdriver down. “Nothing, Mum. I mean Ma’am. I mean Doctor. I mean this is my ship and I can do what I want.” He picked the screwdriver back up but she was giving him the look and he was not intimidated. He wasn’t. “It was running slow.”

“We agreed, herbal tea at this time of night.”

“Joker let me drink coffee,” he muttered under his breath but put the back panel on the machine and returned it to the counter. He wasn’t pouting when she put the cup of tea in front of him. “Did you have to break out the full name?”

“Was my coffee machine going to actually function in the morning?”

“I am not going to dignify that with an answer,” Shepard replied and wrapped his fingers around the tea. They didn’t say anything else, just sat there in the quiet, the occasional crewperson walking by. She read a medical journal, he drank the tea. “Your turn huh?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Commander,” she said easily. “I received this fascinating article and not reading it was keeping me awake, so I figured might as well read it.”

“What is it about?”

“Gene therapy,” she replied casually. “An old friend had a hand in it. It is a little out there, but I think has fascinating implications for -”

“Sure,” he agreed swiftly and drank more tea. “I still know what you are doing.”

“You are the commander of a very expensive ship, I would hope you can recognize reading.”

“Three on, three off?” Shepard shook his head, “You two will wear yourselves thin.”

“So will you,” she replied. “Chief Williams...Ashley. Well, she is where it all began.”

“She was always awake and cleaning guns at 3am,” Shepard remembered. “Couldn’t believe the insane hours she kept.” He drank the last of the tea and it all clicked into place. “Oh. She didn’t did she?”

“She noticed first and then we all helped, she said you needed a light in the dark.”

“Shore leave she bought me this stupid night light, Blasto,” Shepard shook his head. “I miss her.”

“We all do,” she agreed.

“Think she’d be happy we’re working for a pro human group, or furious that we’ve become terrorists?” He turned the mug around and around in his hands.

“Somewhere in between. She felt a lot of things, and they were changing so much. Hard to say who she may have been. Hard to say who we all are now.”

“You were always philosophical on your shift.”

“Well we couldn’t all be Wrex and try to bash your head in to get you to sleep.”

“There is no sleep tonight,” he said softly.

“For me neither, this is a really fascinating article. I think I’ll make some more tea. Another cup?”

“Sure,” Shepard agreed. “Another cup sounds great.”

***************************************

“Nope, you get your lizard arse back to bed,” Shepard said.

“Shepard, I’m really not a lizard, how many times have we had this talk?” Garrus gave a smile and winced when it hurt like hell.

“Never. We never actually have a talk about it,” Shepard answered. “I call you a lizard, you say you aren’t and then we talk about blowing stuff up. It is a good system. And you are going back to bed because you are still healing from taking a rocket to the face.”

“It barely skimmed my face,” Garrus waved a hand in the arm to dismiss it. He had been made fun of a fair bit when he went back to C-Sec, all the human gestures he had picked up.

“Barely skimmed?” Shepard started waving his hands about, and Garrus realized it was actually Shepard he had picked up all the waving his arms about. “I don’t care how much barely it was - IT WAS STILL A ROCKET TO THE FACE!”

“I’m fine,” Garrus said. “So want to hear about the time I -”

“No, I don’t want to hear shit except for you going to your bunk. I’m calling Chakwas.”

“She needs her rest Shepard.”

Shepard stilled himself. “I know,” he agreed. “Just been the two of them.”

“Well, now it is the three of us,” Garrus replied. “We’ve got you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“I was dead, Garrus,” Shepard looked at him, “Of course I’m not fucking fine.”

Garrus laughed and it hurt and then he laughed because it was funny that laughing hurt. Shepard had once asked him, back in the early days if he was allergic to laughter, and that if Garrus ever properly smiled it would probably hurt. And now it did. “Neither am I,” Garrus said. “Might as well be not fine together at 3:30am.”

They sat and argued about Garrus’s sniper rifles versus the tech that Shepard used in a fight. An argument that picked up almost to the word from where it had been last left off. But eventually Garrus’s pain grew bad enough, he couldn’t hide it from Shepard any longer and Shepard forced him to his bunk. “Only if you hit your quarters as well,” Garrus insisted.

Shepard nodded. “Garrus?”

“Shepard?”

“I’m glad it was you. That if we found anyone from the old ship? I’m glad it was you.”

“Of course you are, you need my style if you are going to save the galaxy. Again.”

“Yes, I’m looking at a whole lot of style on the lizard who is missing part of his face.” Shepard snorted a bit. “You don’t have to take a shift yet.”

“No place better than by your side,” Garrus answered sincerely.

“You have such shit taste,” Shepard gave a wave.

Garrus gave it a couple minutes. “EDI, is he in his quarters?”

“He is Officer Vakarian,” she replied. “I have a question and Mr. Moreau will not answer.”

“I might not either.”

“Nowhere in the commander’s medical files does it say that he suffers from insomnia,” she said.

“Because he doesn’t,” Garrus explained.

“That does not make sense, he clearly suffers from it.”

“No, because he falls asleep just fine,” Garrus said. He had to lie down carefully, the bunk not designed for Turian’s who maybe took a wee rocket to the face. “He falls asleep just fine. But wakes up most nights around 2:30 or so. Most of the time he can be back asleep two or so hours later.”

“Then why does someone always make sure they are awake as well at that time?”

“Because that is when Shepard is scared, EDI, when he is vulnerable. So we protect him.”

“First Officer Lawson would -”

“No,” Garrus said firmly. “This is for us, for the ones he trusts to have his back.”

“It would be counterproductive to the mission and to everything that was done to bring him to this place to not have his back.”

“EDI, trust me, he’d spit in their eye.”

“I see.”

“No you don’t but that is okay, maybe you’ll get it one day.”

“Thank you, Officer Vakarian, this was informative.” There was quiet but he could hear the hum that let him know the channel was still open. “He ordered you not to be awake tomorrow night.”

“He did.”

“Will you listen?”

“What do you think?”

“Based on available data, you will be awake.”

Garrus just smiled. Because of course he would be awake.

********************************************

“Uhh, Jack?”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“You’re taking a shift?” Shepard was honestly shocked. He was sure the woman hated him. Well she hated everything, but he was sure there was an extra level for him, because the whole Cerberus thing. “Joker is letting you take a shift?” That was surprising.

“What fucking shift? I wanted pancakes.” Jack had a pan and some supplies out. “I’m not making you any.”

“Okay,” Shepard sat slowly down and the door to the battery opened and Garrus was running out. “She got a shift?”

“No, I was just -”

“Running calibrations,” Shepard rolled his eyes. “Let me do them, and you’ll never have to touch them again.”

“No touching my guns.”

“Ewww, what the shit is this flirting?” Jack glared at them. “Go be gross away from my pancakes.”

“So she’s not on shift?” Shepard just had to confirm.

“No, I may, Joker, Chakwas, and I may have a loose interpretation of taking care of your mental health, but that does not include leaving you alone at 3am with tattooed psychopaths.”

“I have a tattoo,” Shepard complained.

“You have a daisy on your ass,” Garrus said.

“Wait, really?” Jack flipped a pancake. “Are you serious?”

“Yup,” Garrus said.

“It isn’t a daisy and it isn’t on my arse. It is a rose on my hip and it isn’t there anymore because Cerberus brought me back pristine.”

“You don’t fuck with a person’s ink,” Jack said. “Giving me another reason to hate them Shepard.”

“Trust me, I am pissed about it too. It was the worst tattoo in three star systems and I loved it.”

“Scars too?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah,” Shepard answered.

“Even?” Garrus winced when Shepard nodded.

“What was that about? And how does the turian know about your ‘arse’?” 

Shepard was confused. “It’s Garrus, he knows everything about me. His shift, we talked the most.”

“Why do you keep saying shift, like it is a thing? Is this a thing I have to do, because I am not doing it.” Jack put a pancake on a plate and put it in front of Shepard. “And don’t say anything. This is just about the tattoo fuckery.” She went back to the stove and made another for herself.

“The old crew, they worried about my sanity. So at 3am when I’m not asleep, they always made sure someone was up with me.”

“Why Mister Stick up his Ass been awake at night for the last week? He does not move quiet.” Jack sat on the counter and ate the pancake right from the pan.

“Joker’s been sick with a cold, so Garrus took his shifts.” Shepard finished his pancake. “It should have been Doc tonight but -”

“But she’s worn down trying to get Joker to actually take care of himself,” Garrus replied.

“Whatever. You want to get all touchy feely because the commander had a bad dweam you go nuts. I have murders to plan.”

“Thanks for the pancake!”

“Fuck you,” Jack replied.

Shepard didn’t say anything when the next night Jack was there and none of the other three appeared. They practiced juggling knives.

************************************************

“If my battlemaster is awake at this hour it must be important for training or such. I will be awake too,” Grunt said and sat down.

Garrus and Shepard looked at him. “This isn’t a training thing, this is I currently suffer really shitty nightmares about the vacuum of space thing.”

“You are trying to trick me. This is a training strategy. You two are the best on this ship and you spend at least four nights together at this time. Clearly it is what makes you effective fighters. So now I will join you too.”

“I was reading a manual on the viper rifle,” Garrus said.

“I was playing solitaire,” Shepard pointed to the ancient playing cards he had found on Omega. 

“Show me this game.”

“He lit my cards on fire,” Shepard stared at the ashes after Grunt stomped away.

“I’ll buy you another set,” Garrus was barely paying attention.

“Fire Garrus, fire.”

“You tried to cook last night, there was a fire. Like father, like son.”

“Do not start with Jack’s “Shepard’s Little Murder Baby” talk,” Shepard warned. “I should punish him for this right? Like no ground missions for a week?”

“Oh be nice to the murder baby, that was one of the harder versions of the game. He needs to let his feelings out.”

“Oh fuck you are the happy go lucky parent and I’m the stern one? What the fuck Garrus? You should be grounding him and me buying him ice cream! What parallel world did I fall into?” Shepard began to clean up the ashes. “What the fuck is this?”

Garrus snickered as he kept reading.

Shepard threw away the mess. “It really is you most nights, isn’t it?”

“Don’t know what you are talking about,” Garrus replied and swiped his screen. “Oooh look at these mods.”

“Your sleep is getting all messed up.”

“No, rhythms have adjusted. Mordin says I’m fine.”

“You checked with Mordin?”

“No he checked with me. Said it makes more sense for one of two of us just to shift to the same sleep patterns as you. I volunteered.”

“Why?” 

“Because you need me.”

*****************************************

“Tali,” Shepard said and hugged her tight when she was waiting for him at 3am.

“I’m here,” she said softly and hugged back just as hard. Shepard didn’t hear the battery door open but she did and she saw Garrus. He gave her a small nod and disappeared again. “I’m here,” she promised Shepard. “We all have you.”

“Garrus hugged me the other night when I was rough. It was weird. He said he was trying for the Tali hug. But there is nothing like a proper Tali hug.”

“Garrus’s hugs would probably be more like a choke hold, I bet.”

“He tried to be gentle and then pet my head. And got distracted by my hair. Became less about the hug than figuring out how curls sproing.”

“You didn’t have curls on the first Normandy.”

“Letting it grow. He needs something to sproing.”

Tali didn’t comment on that, just kept hugging her commander, her friend.

*******************************************

“Commander,” Miranda said.

“I...okay, did not expect you - ever.”

“I know,” she agreed. “But I owe you, for my sister.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“And so is this.” They played the strategy game Miranda had brought without another word.

********************************************

“No talking about it,” Garrus warned when Shepard sat down.

“No talking about it,” Shpard agreed. “I got a letter from Kaidan.”

“Oh? Is he joining us?” Garrus sounded tense, but it had been a pretty shitty day, letting your revenge walk away.

“No, and he mentioned the women he has been dating.”

There was an inflection in Shepard’s voice that Garrus couldn’t quite parse out. “Good for him?”

“Yeah, good for him,” Shepard agreed. “You date during those vigilante years?”

Garrus snorted. “No one wanted to date this. Even before the rocket to the face.”

“HA! You acknowledge it was a full rocket to the face.”

“Shut up.”

“Sure.” Shepard managed to be quiet for a for minutes. “I’d date you, except for the whole you don’t like humans sexually thing. And your crap taste in guns. And inability to calibrate properly. And -”

“And I’m ugly as fuck,” Garrus said.

“No,” Shepard said. “No, you’ve never been ugly to me.”

They looked at each other and the air grew heavy. “You really should get the doctor to check your eyes.” They both laughed but the tension remained.

***********************************

“Not leaving you to a shift with him, Shepard,” Garrus glared at Legion.

“Come on, I was going to teach him to dance,” Shepard whined.

“Now I am really staying,” Garrus said.

“To see my sweet moves?”

“To teach him something decent.” The music queued up and it was dreadful watching Shepard and Legion dance. And adorable.

“Officer Vakarian might I inquire as to why your dancing mostly involves you looking at the rear of the commander?” EDI’s voice filled the room.

“I think the dancing can be a solo lesson,” Garrus decided and went to the battery.

**************************************

“All due respect Thane, I don’t think 3am meditation is right,” Shepard said.

“I understand. Would you care to spar?”

“Now we’re talking.”

**************************************

Jacob tried one night but fell asleep and Shepard just went and hung out with Garrus, not like he was ever asleep at that time, he just understood sometimes the others wanted to help too.

**************************************

Samara read to him from ancient codes.

They were poetic.

**************************************

“Garrus?”

“Yeah?” 

“I like you.”

“I like you too,” Garrus replied easily.

“I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

“Sure.”

“Yeah.”

“So...I bought you that stupid viper mod you wanted, even though it is a shit gun and -”

Garrus pressed his forehead against Shepard’s because he knew if he didn’t the man would ramble forever. Shepard went very still and very quiet. 

“I’m happiest when it is you at 3am,” Shepard whispered. “Never have a problem going back to bed when it is you. I dream happy things.”

“I never remember my dreams. I don’t know if turians even do dream. Not like you do.”

“I dream about you.”

“You actually managing to keep up with me in the field?” Garrus jokes but he has yet to move his forehead from Shepard’s.

“No, I just dream about this. You and me, talking, and you being a shit, and making me laugh, and how I survive every day because you are at my side.”

“Crap, Shepard, I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Just tell me if I’m off base.”

“You’re human and I’m turian, of course you are off base.”

“To anyone else,” Shepard said and stepped back a little and Garrus hated not having his forehead against Shepard’s. “What about you and me? Shepard and Vakarian.”

“I don’t...Those go together,” was what Garrus could come up with. He wished it was better, more romantic, but he never had the right words at the best of times. “I can’t imagine them not together.”

“Okay,” Shepard agreed and moved forward and wrapped his arms around Garrus and Garrus wrapped his arms around Shepard.

*********************************************

“Hey, wait, why isn’t Shepard here, it’s my fucking shift,” Jack looked around the mess hall. “Hey, EDI, where the fuck is Shepard?”

“It seems that he and Garrus have found a better alternative solution to Shepard’s wakefulness at 3am.”

“Christ, are they shooting shit somewhere and didn’t invite me?” 

“They are in Shepard’s quarters. Engaged in things other than firearms training.”

“What else do they do? Calibrate shit?” Jack paused. “Fuck, EDI are they calibrating each other?”

“I am not authorized to say.”

“Yeah that’s a yes, and since I have free time...let’s piss off the cheerleader.” Jack whistled as she went to annoy Miranda.

**********************************************

“This is a much better use of 3am,” Shepard sat, sitting naked in Garrus’s lap.

Garrus touched the hair on Shepard’s chest, endlessly fascinated by it. “You know we’re actually going to lose a lot more sleep now, than we were before.”

Shepard pressed his forehead to Garrus’s, “Worth it.”


End file.
